death and motherhood
As some of you might already know, I've been a mom for eleven years next month (if you count the time I was pregnant with manuelle) Being a mother has always been a srtuggle for me. I was so yoing when I had Manuelle that I really hadn't worked out the whole being immature thing and in a way i don't thibk I ever took it as seriuos as I should have. (Regrets to later be discussed in Manuelle therapy, I'm sure) I din't realize until Soleil was born just how important I really was to manuelle. Not having a father make it even more so.
Manuelle has had a crush on the same boy in her class for at least the last two years. Last year I was cleaing her room an dfound a note she had written to herseld about how much she like him, but that he could never like her back bevause she's too fat (ouch, but thats for another blog) Jordan is a really nice kid, very kind and gentle for a ten year old boy, round face, big blue eyes. Manuelle got a call from a classmate after school yesterday, to let her know that Jordan mom had died in a car accident.
Kids are deal with death totatlly diferently then we do. As an adult knowing how terrible a loss his will be for the rest of his life, I couldn't stop thinking about my kids if that happened to me. I tryed to engage Manuelle in a discussion about her feelings (if she was worried that I might die) but she wasn't interested. She was to buzy making him a card!
The card was covered with flowers and the on the inside there was a large heart. Written inside the heart "I'm sorry your mom died" So direct and truly compassionate. what else could she say?
The funny thiong is that they had a class discusion about the death today and how the class will treat Jordan when he returns to school. The only part of the discussion Manuelle remembers was the school cousellor advising then not to give him cards because it might remind him of the death, but Manuelle disagreeing that he probably can't forget it anyway so a card aleast says I know you must be really sad. (who needs an MSW anyway?)
Sone of her mom's inherent counselling skills must of rubbed off.
Manuelle has had a crush on the same boy in her class for at least the last two years. Last year I was cleaing her room an dfound a note she had written to herseld about how much she like him, but that he could never like her back bevause she's too fat (ouch, but thats for another blog) Jordan is a really nice kid, very kind and gentle for a ten year old boy, round face, big blue eyes. Manuelle got a call from a classmate after school yesterday, to let her know that Jordan mom had died in a car accident.
Kids are deal with death totatlly diferently then we do. As an adult knowing how terrible a loss his will be for the rest of his life, I couldn't stop thinking about my kids if that happened to me. I tryed to engage Manuelle in a discussion about her feelings (if she was worried that I might die) but she wasn't interested. She was to buzy making him a card!
The card was covered with flowers and the on the inside there was a large heart. Written inside the heart "I'm sorry your mom died" So direct and truly compassionate. what else could she say?
The funny thiong is that they had a class discusion about the death today and how the class will treat Jordan when he returns to school. The only part of the discussion Manuelle remembers was the school cousellor advising then not to give him cards because it might remind him of the death, but Manuelle disagreeing that he probably can't forget it anyway so a card aleast says I know you must be really sad. (who needs an MSW anyway?)
Sone of her mom's inherent counselling skills must of rubbed off.
posted by Christine R.G. at 9:03 PM
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